On Your Own? Think Again!

It's easy to think that we are sometimes that only person who has a certain world view or is struggling to define concepts, or battling to make ends meet in this rather lack-lustre economy.  Yes, you can talk to friends and family about your life and the struggles you have on a daily basis, the disagreements you have with your bank or credit card company, but there is nothing quite like connecting with colleagues who are in the same boat as you are.

A couple of weeks ago I booked a flight up to Omaha, Nebraska on the urging of Ann Monteith an incredible photographer and past president of PPA to attend a workshop hosted in the town of Norfolk, Nebraska.  I wasn't sure what to expect at the workshop. I knew that I would have to be bullied and glared at by cold-hearted security personnel with room temperature IQs at the airports, have to squeeze into aeroplane seats designed to fit 5-year olds and endure the two hour flight to Omaha on teeny packet of pretzels with the possibility that some 3-month old kid would be screaming his/her lungs out the entire journey. While the latter didn't happen, the plane was delayed for over an hour.  I wonder if this is a sign of things to come with the merger of United and Continental?

I arrived at Omaha, picked up my car rental (a PT cruiser which handles the way it was designed - awkwardly) and drove into the green hills of Nebraska carpeted with fields of green corn. After a 2 hour journey, I found the hotel, checked in, rushed down for the "Welcome" cocktail hour (the older I get, the more cocktail hours I need!) and introduced myself to a few stragglers and made out way to the restaurant for dinner.  What a treat.  At table I sat with Bruce and Josh Hudson, a father and son team at Hudson Portrait Design. What an incredible team they make and they set me on fire with their stories of hurdles they had to overcome and tales success.  This was a sign of things to come. For two days, I "workshopped" and networked with 35 other photographers who insisted that even though the economic climate sucks, failure in business is not an option. After all, what else can a photographer do? Work for some cold-hearted jack-ass boss whose ongoing mood swings need to be controlled with bi-polar medication?  I think not!

The energy was intense. The workshops helped us design our goals, put systems in place for the next two quarters, overcome issues, tweak some ideas and plan for success. The evening were spent sharing our stories around a glass of wine, beer or scotch. The third day of activities was tightly scheduled as we met with graphic designers, web designers and marketing specialists back to back and who helped translate our ideas and dreams into marketing reality. At 5 PM we parted and I headed back to Omaha, NE and checked into a Holiday Inn (thanks to Priceline.com) at a good price.

 I spent the Thursday morning relaxing over a late breakfast and then made my way to the airport. I was so anxious to get home, that I boarded the wrong plane! How was I supposed to know that the plane I was seated on was going to La Guardia, NY instead of Houston, TX?  I mean, there I was comfortably seated in my teeny aisle seat, and the doors were about to close but one person had a ticket but because some people had switched seats, he had no place to sit. The gate official came up front and made an announcement for me to come to the front of the plane with all my belongings.  What?  Why was I being kicked off? I went up front without my stuff, and asked what was going on. The gate official asked if I had all my belongings with me.  Of course I didnt!  I wanted to know what was going on before they kicked me off. That's when I learnt that I was on the wrong flight.  Ooops!  I was a little flushed and apologized profusely. The gate official said it was their fault because they should've caught it. I exited the plane with my bags and ensconced in the waiting area once again waiting for the correct flight! Anyway, after a dull flight with well-behaved passengers, I was glad to get back to Houston.

It's easy for us to sometimes wallow in the fact that we're on our own and to underscore our aloneness by taking online classes or read books and manuals in isolation.  This experience taught me how important it is to get out there, to mix with others,  to share ideas, to listen to others and to surround yourself with people who know the taste of success and are happy to help you in your quest for success. The poet John Donne put it this way in his Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions:

No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind...

Expanding your network

When most people hear the phrase, "Expanding your network", many think of friending people on Facebook. I have come to the conclusion that one's network is far wider and far more powerful than a list of names on Facebook, MySpace or LinkedIn.

This past Monday, I had to take Charley, my brindle-coloured French Standard Poodle, to see the vet. The only times that one visits medical/veterinary people is if you or your pet is sick or you need a refill on a prescription and the doctor/vet needs to re-evaluate your condition before letting you pop more pills.

I took Charley in because he constantly shook his head as if something was stuck in his ear. I looked inside, didn't see anything, but certainly smelled the tell-tale odour of an ear infection. I arrived at the vet around 10 AM, and the place was packed out with dogs (and cats) of all shapes, sizes and breeds. Some were pretty aggressive and others were just the cutest things you can imagine. I typically, tend to keep to myself, not wanting to intrude into others' space, but the marketing class I attended this past weekend taught me that every encounter with another person is an opportunity not only to make friends, but to expand your network and to grow your business. While this isn't a new concept to me, it is one that decided to embrace with a certain amount of fear and trepidation. I can work a crowd of 30+ people without batting an eyelid, but chatting and becoming friends with random strangers, is another matter entirely.

The woman to my right had a sweet dog who had been neutered the week before, but his stitches had come out. The poor thing had a helmet around it's head that was meant to prevent it from getting to the stitches, but apparently it hadn't worked. I made small talk with the dog's owner, but she clearly didn't want to talk and her body language demonstrated it. You can take a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink. A woman with the cutest baby came in with her Mom and dog and sat down next to me and she started chatting almost immediately. We totally hit it off.  I learned that her husband is an opera singer who loves singing Wagner (he needs headshots), their baby was a mere 2 months old (needs beautiful photographs) and they want to have a family portrait taken.

I had my iPhone with me and showed her a few photos that I keep on there and she loved them, but it would've been better if I had a bigger screen like my iPad.  Consequently, I now carry business cards and my iPad wherever I go. I gave her a card and invited her to contact me (need to be more pro-active and get her information so that "I" can contact the other party) right as Charley's name was called to see the vet.

What did I learn? Just because one person says "no" doesn't mean that everyone says "no". People have so many things going on in their heads, at work and at home that they may not be in the right place to be receptive. Consequently, don't sweat the small stuff and move on. Building your network isn't "friending" someone, but it is "being a friend" to another person and genuinely showing interest in their lives. If an opportunity comes to talk about what you have to offer, that's great, but if not, that is also fine because we shared our humanity together.